dixiblog.com

it’s a funny thing. or, it is to me, anyway, and that’s what we’re talking ’bout here. me. but it’s a funny thing, to me, how my focus works.

i have this thing, when i get focused. it’s like a goddamned laser beam, and i can do things. a lot of things. get shit accomplished, you know. you do know, right? what the hell i’m talking about? big shit. hard work, big projects. i can pull off shit that nobody but people who have known me a long time would guess I could, and maybe not them.

Damn. That sounds egotistical. (but don’t forget: i lost over a hundred fucking pounds. not that forgetting will be a problem becase…well, I won’t let you! Snort!

i don’t know. it’s kinda hard to explain. it’s like, i can work on this project or that project, la, la, la! no big deal. but if, for whatever reason, i decide, 100% decide this is something i want to happen or do, well, that’s a different fuckin’ story, man. then i can project a lot of energy over a long time on my desired outcome. i get determined. i get focused, in the zone, whatever the hell you wanna call it.and why am i babbling about this? it’s not because i’m inherently an egomaniac (although i neither confirm or deny that assertion), but because it’s on my mind.

i recently decided i’m tired of weighing more than i want to. again. and it’s not like the regular, whiney kind of, “Boo hoo. This sucks. Gimme a chocolate bar to console me” kinda shit. Not that I don’t get that, too. God knows! But we’re not here to talk about my faults. We’re here to reinforce my egomania.

it just strikes me. because i can goddamned FEEL the difference, you know?! i can feel the difference. it’s like before. i can feel the different. and how cool is that? because i know.

i like knowing. but it’s more. it’s like, it doesn’t matter if there’s any thing “magical” about it or not–although i like thinking there is. it’s more fun that way. so i’ve decided, yes, it’s bloody fucking magical and then some.

but i digress. digressing dixie.

the point being, it doesn’t matter a whit if i am just manufacturing the knowing in my own brain, or if the knowing comes from elsewhere. the end result is the SAME regardless of the source: i feel good and i make good choices, which contributes to a self-fulfilling prophecy.

so it’s all good. all good.

maybe that’s my point? i mean, maybe that’s my point! yeah.

so it’s settled then. my points are: it’s all good. and i’m proud of my focus. end of point(s), such as they are. Peace out from that crazy, pink-haired, focused egomaniac.