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Lately, I’ve been thinking about relationships. Love, friendship, familial, casual, whatever. What goes into it to make a relationship worthwhile? There are a few bottom-line qualities that I want for myself in every relationship–

• Goodwill–for me and for others. I want to be around those who wish good on others, whether they know them or not. You know what I mean? For some people, the idea of Goodwill is something they expect to be earned somehow, or is dependent upon how they are feeling about someone else at the time.Even if I don’t like them, for that matter, I don’t wish bad luck on anyone, even if they “deserve it,” you know? While people still have to contend with the consequences of their actions (and rightfully so), I’m still not cursing them with plauges and famine or something. I prefer to be around other people who are good-hearted by nature.
• Honesty. This is a major issue to me. I have little to no patience for bullshit, in any area of my life. And even “little white lies” can easily poison any relationship. Little lies told here and there, for comfort, for convienience, for whatever, end up making it easier and easier and easier to lie. And for what, anyway? Most of the time, these little lies are presented to save face, avoid momentary discomfort, or to appear better somehow. It’s just not worth it.
• Trust. Going hand-in-hand with honesty, trust is the cornerstone of any relationship to me. Without trust, you have shit, you know? There is NO WAY whatsoever to feel close to someone without feeling like you can trust them. And I don’t want to waste my energy trying to figure out if what someone says is true, either, you know?
• Kindness. I want to surround myself with good-hearted, loving people.
• Integrity. Does someone make the choice they believe is right, even when it’s harder? Can you bank on what they say, or promises made? Are they true to their word? Are they the same person with one friend as another?
• Respect. I choose to be around people who respect me and my own journey, even when it’s different from theirs.
• Reliability. I don’t have all that many friends, but the ones I do have come through in spades when I need ‘em. If you can’t count on somebody, I don’t need ‘em.
• They feed me. Relationships I want to keep in my life add to my life.
• Loyalty. I don’t expect those around me to always agree with me, but I expect them to care about me, even when they don’t agree with me, and do their best to give me (and others) the benefit of a doubt.

That’s what I’m thinking now. I’m sure the list could be longer or shorter. But that’s what I’ve been thinking about lately, as well as how much I appreciate the people that fill these roles in my life.