dixiblog.com

Well, the holidays are officially here. We can declare it offical now, because I’ve begun taunting Stinker for Christmas. This is a greatly beloved sport and tradition at our house. Even though she’s all grown up in many ways, she still has that kid’s spirit of Christmas, and it’s fun as Hell. It also makes taunting her fun as Hell.

It goes something like this:

“Oh Baiiiiilllllleeeeyyyyyyy….guess what? I got the first Christmas present I ordered today. One for you! I got a Christmas present here, in the house. For you. In this very house! It is soooooooooo coooooolll! You’re going to love it. You won’t believe how cool it is. It’s the coolest gift ever given in all time and space. I can’t wait to give it to you! Don’t you wonder what it is? Wait a minute…I forgot….hmmmm. Oh wait. It’s a…ooops! Almost said it. That wouldn’t have been good! Almost forgot, but now I remember. How could I forget such a cool gift?” I could go on and on like this, of and on, for days at a time. Just ask her.

She flips me off. I’m laughing my ass off. She’s trying not to laugh, a little, to keep up with her righteously indignant routine but she can’t pull it off very well. She doesn’t do a convincing grumpy most of the time. Fortunately, she doesn’t seem to want to.

“Forget it,” she declares. “I can wait. I don’t care. Christmas will come soon enough. I am not doing that this year. I don’t care.”" Neither of us believe her, any more than we believe she’ll want to sleep in until 10am on Christmas day. I didn’t think to offer that whole “time starts moving faster as you get older” phenomena could work in her favor in this situation.  ”

I laugh and laugh and laugh. Of course she cares. That’s the fun of it: both the teasing and the presents. What she’d never admit is that she enjoys the teasing almost as much as the Christmas part. She’d swear it drives her nuts. And maybe it does a little, but it doesn’t, too.

Of course, I’d never say she likes the teasing as much as the actual presents. She’d faint or something.