We’re snuggled up, getting ready to go to sleep. He’s not dozing off in his usual 30 seconds after laying still.
“You’re thinking,” I declared. “I can hear it.”
“Yeah? You’re thinking, too,” he responsds. “You need to go to sleep now. I can sleep better when I hear you snoring.”
“I don’t snore! Who says I snore? Well, okay, the kid does, but I don’t snore. Snoring is not ladylike.”
“It’s very soft.”
“Nah. I don’t snore. Gotta be your imagination. I’ve never heard myself snoring.”
I settle in and we both go to sleep. The kid claims that she sometimes hears a snoring serenade from our room. I think she must be exaggerating. Now, my husband’s snoring could rattle the doors! But me? I’m a perfect lady at all times. Even in my sleep. 
I have a theory. Everybody snores! Even babies snore a little. Except you. You don’t snore.
thank you for recognizing that fact, that i don’t snore!