dixiblog

I have been working, very hard, for a very long time, it seems. It feels like forever…i plowed through tons of work the last couple of weeks, often with anxious and cranky clients breathing down my neck, and i managed to do what i consider to be a decent job of juggling all those concerns.

last weekend, it hit hard. saturday, it got to the point i was so tired and frustrated i could barely focus. i had people freaking out at me and stressing me out left and right.

i had my hot-and-cold-again kid, whom i’m on “stressed-but-still-speaking” terms with, messaging me wanting to bring her friends over for tarot readings. i had a client (or should i say potential client, as no money yet = NOT client!) sending me sarcastic, mean email; i had more work to do than i knew what to do with. nothing for dinner. a messy house. no sense of priorities. and i felt like crap with sneezing and swollen allergy-eyes. ugh. i was feeling overloaded and lost.

i cried some….it was just overwhelming, i guess. the fucked up family relationship is a long-term source of pain; i get tired of being thown away and won’t continue to pretend it doesn’t have impact or isn’t worthy of acknowledgement…feeling bad because i was behind on my work and felt like i was letting down my clients, but also knowing i was working as hard as i could. no focus.

but i did good. i dealt with it. i plowed through issue after issue and moved on. i answered the messages and tried to let go of the emotional crap. i fired the mean client. i pushed through the workload. and i did that all this week.

so this week, i promised myself a day off! that’s today. my big day off. i had hoped to do some gardening, but realized it’s probably still too early in the season to start getting flowers and putting them out.

so i’m goofing off a little. i will take a bath soon and probably go out. i need stuff for my smoothie fix! and maybe have lunch out with my daughter (when i get her ass up). i may go to bath and bodyworks or something, and see if i can’t find something indulgent for me.

and yes, i’ll also check my email and do laundry and make dinner. it’s a day off, but i ain’t dead. stuff still has to get done. but i’m happy for the well earned day off, and i am enjoying it thus far.

peace out.