Vega woke us crying last night, unable to move his back legs. I laid next to him on the floor and comforted him until he quit crying. This morning, I took him to the vet. He was diagnosed with straddle thrombosis and the vet recommended putting him to sleep because of the extremely poor prognosis and painfulness of the condition. We did.  He was 7 years old.

He was the sweetest kitty in the world, and I miss him dearly already. We we very lucky to have him in our lives.

I love you, Vega.

People keep asking me, “How are you and Chip getting along?” They wonder, because he and I are home together all day now, since November.

“I love it!” I tell them–and they always seem kind of surprised at the response.

Being together all day is nothing new to use. Heck–we met at work many years ago. We drove to work together,  sometimes worked together (sat side by side), ate lunch together, came home together, and spent the evening together. This is how it was from the beginning.

We didn’t always get to work together, through the whole 20 years, of course. But I missed that. I missed it a lot.

He helps me think things through and listens to me. He makes me laugh; he looks out for me; he calms me; he entertains me; he loves me. He’s my husband and my best friend. I appreciate every minute I get to spend accessing his energy.

I don’t know how long things will be the way they are right now. Like every bit of your life, it’s a snapshot in time. But I’m cherishing it while I’ve got it.

Trick Crockpot

Valentine’s Day–I wanted to exchange my crockpot. What an incurable romantic, huh? So we went out to WalMart to trade the broken-lid one I just bought with an intact version in the bizarre snowing/not-snowing weather. We hit up KFC for our meal, inexpensive but still a treat. And we went home to eat and watch some shows and be together.

My husband and I usually have “non-traditional” holidays. That means we pay attention to what we care about, and not what the world says we should care about. We care about each other.

The last couple years, I’ve noticed my husband makes the effort to take me out on Valentine’s Day, so long as I want to go out. This is kind of a big deal for a couple of reasons:

• He would be more than happy to stay home pretty much anytime. He’s kind of that way.
• I don’t have to ask for this, make a big deal of it, or feel like I’m putting him out somehow.
• Even though the places may be overcrowded on holidays like VD, the weather may be messy and the whole deal it can be kind of a pain, he still suggests it. And he means it.

I do like to go out sometimes. While I wouldn’t necessarily ask for dinner out of Valentine’s Day because of the crowds, it’s gratifying to have the official “love” holiday acknowledged by the man I’ve loved and been loved by for so many years. Honestly, it would not be an issue if he didn’t want to go out. I am an adult, and can care for my own social needs. But more than the acknowledgment, more than whatever we do (or don’t do), his intention to please me and do something he knows I like–even when he’s not so into it–means a lot.

Love–on Valentine’s Day or any other–isn’t so much about the grandeur of the gesture. It’s not the flashiness of the gift, the romantic quotient of the evening or the cost of whatever is exchanged that matters. It’s caring about making loved ones happy. For him, it’s taking me out sometimes. For me, it’s being happy staying home sometimes.

People can make it so hard, but it really is much simpler than that. With a new crockpot and a few leftovers from KFC in the fridge, I feel like the most loved woman in the world.

When my daughter moved, she put my husband in charge of watching me. Yeah–watching me. That’s how she said it, too.

“When I’m gone, you’re in charge of watching Mom, Dad. You have to keep her from hurting herself.”

I’m protesting, but I could as well be 4 years old for all the mind being paid. If it wasn’t so funny, I could be offended I’ve just been assigned a babysitter.

He’s listening closely, and solemnly agrees to take on the job. I’m not surprised. I’ve heard them talk about me as if I were a dangerous lunatic before, after all. It’s one of those 60/40 family jokes: 60% true, 40% joke.

What I didn’t expect was him to take it so seriously. Evidently, I need a lot of watching. I have also learned some of this goes on without my knowledge. But some, I definitely notice.

Like the other night…a hunk of dinner is stuck in the garbage disposal. I  get ready to stick my hand down in there to fix it, but  I’m kind of  waiting for hubby to move out line of sight. I know he’s paranoid as all heck, and won’t want to watch me stick my hand in there, even though the thing’s off.

Wait…wait…wait…He doesn’t move.

Hey! He’s standing there to keep me from doing it, damnit!

I pause a minute, feeling completely lost without use of my hands. I start to walk away to figure it out later (or, more likely, come back when he’s not watching)–until he offers an alternative: I can use some tongs to pull out the food. I stumble around for a minute, but it worked.

And this is how it’s been. I think it’s quite silly as he’s overseeing me taking a cup of coffee out of the microwave, but begrudgingly admit he probably had a point about the sticking-a-fork-in-the-plugged-in-toaster thing.

Probably.

My husband is not working. And while there are definitely downsides, there are a number of things to appreciate as well.

• I love spending every day with him again. We used to work together, and it was great. It’s reminded me of how much I miss that.
• He’s so much happier than he’s been in a long time. It’s wonderful to see him healthy, well-rested, and not stressed. That makes me happy.
• Other transitions are easier with him nearby. My daughter just moved cross-country, and I miss her tremendously. It hasn’t been nearly as hard as it would have been without him here with me as much as he is now.
• He’s taken on a number of tasks around the house I was managing before. This took me almost no time to adjust to and has made my life a lot easier.
• He’s had time to pursue some of his other interests and this makes me happy, too.
• It’s a great opportunity. How many times in your adult life do you get to take a few months off working?
• We’re reconnecting. For the first time in twenty years, it’s just him and me. Watching our budget, we’re not going out much or running around much. We spend lots of time together, and it’s really wonderful to be able to do just that.
• I am hoping he lands in a situation and place that leaves him feeling happy, valued and appreciated. Disconnecting from the old situation that was not working in that regard is required to make room for the new.

It’s just been a wonderful gift at a time that would have been more difficult in many ways without it, and I appreciate every moment I get to enjoy our time together.